Why Is It So Hard To Say I’m Sorry?

On August 12, 1985, a Japan Airlines jumbo jet crashed killing 520 passengers and crew.  Yasumoto Takagi, President of Japan Airlines, resigned and said he was sorry.  He moved to a modest apartment in downtown Tokyo and spent the remainder of his life doing penance and communicating his and the company’s sympathies to the families of the victims.

In 2008, we had a financial crash.  Where were the apologies from our leaders? Why is it so hard to apologize?  Humility is one of the traits for which Moses, Jesus, Gandhi and other great religious figures are revered.  Who should apologize? To name a few:

-          Alan Greenspan and Ben Bernanke for worrying more about politics than ensuring the integrity of our financial system

-          Angelo Mozilo for overseeing the fiasco that was Countrywide Financial

-          Ken Lewis for mismanaging Bank of America

-          Henry Paulson for mismanaging the US Treasury Department

-          President George Bush for justifying the war in Iraq on dubious intelligence

-          Raymond Gilmartin, CEO of Merck for failing to withdraw Vioxx from the market

-          Your financial advisor for losing a significant portion of your retirement money.

Everyone makes mistakes. I was a practicing lawyer and a business executive and Lord knows I made many mistakes.  If any professional is honest, they will tell you that the only way to grow in their profession is to make mistakes and learn from them.  I also learned that besides having a plan to remedy my mistakes, I must sincerely apologize to my co-workers and superiors and resolve to do better the next time.  In a corporate environment, apologies are so rare that they are disarming when they occur. In my experience, more often than not a simple apology diffused the anger of my bosses and everyone was able to move on to corrective action.

As a culture we have lost our way.  In a recent Wall Street Journal article, Peggy Noonan cited the example of John F. Kennedy who was able to admit that the Bay of Pigs was his mistake. Significantly, Kennedy did not blame the affair on his predecessor Dwight David Eisenhower.  Ms. Noonan suggested that President Obama could learn much from President Kennedy.

Without a sincere apology for misdeeds we cannot go on. Instead of sincere apologies for the current financial debacle, we get dissembling and finger pointing. How often have we heard that last year’s financial crisis was unforeseeable, was a “Black Swan” event, was the fault of the Democrats, the Republicans, the poor who borrowed in excess of their financial capacity and took out subprime loans.  When you ask a 3 year old how the broken milk glass found its way to the floor, the answer is:  “it fell.”  There is no human subject in the sentence. The glass just animated itself, defied the laws of physics and launched itself off the table. Our leaders would have us believe the same about the economy and the financial markets: “it broke.”

Frankly, I’m sorry; I don’t buy it.  There needs to be an open honest recognition: I made a mistake, I was wrong, I am willing to resign or I am willing to fix the problem. Please give me another chance.  Instead we are insulted with record bonus announcements for the same individuals who made the mistakes.  The first step is at least to say “I am sorry”. The second step is to emulate the great religious figures, to show some action-based humility and eschew the bonuses.  Maybe we all cannot be Mr. Takagi, but saying I’m sorry is a start.

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